There have been appalling cases of child abuse since baby p but also many cases of injustice where children have wrongly been taken from families and adopted.
This shows that the approach taken after baby ps death is not working and has not lessened child abuse.
What we also have had over the past couple of years is mothers killing their children over fear of social services taking them.
There are many campaigners for family law reform and there is no question that changes have to be made but i wonder sometimes if the government are missing the point.
Parenting does not come naturally and if adults have received poor parenting themselves unless taught differently many pass on that parenting style to their own offspring.
Also parents are having children removed simply because they were once in care themselves which means their children are at higher risk of significant harm.
The outcomes for children placed in the care system are appalling.
• 34% of young people in a York University study reported being
homeless at some time in the year after leaving care and 12% of
London’s rough sleepers had been in care (CLG 2008).
11% of children in care gained 5 good GCSEs in 2005,
compared to 56% of all children
• 29% of care leavers are not in education, training and
employment at 19, compared to 10% of all young people.
• At 19 only 7% of care leavers are in higher education.
Young people in care are 4 times more likely to have a mental
health disorder, and almost a quarter have had contact with
Special Education Services.
• 15 to 17 year old girls who have been in care are 3 times more
likely to become teenage mothers than others of their age.
• 3,500 young people in care are Unaccompanied Asylum Seeking
Children (UASC)
• Around 27% of adult prisoners have spent time in care
compared to 2% of the general population
• It is estimated that 10-20% of children in care are disabled
What is currently happening seems to be a vicious circle whereby child is removed from family ,taken into care , grows up becomes a parent , has child removed and taken into care , that child grows up , becomes a parent has child removed etc etc .
Domestic violence victims are having their children removed. They are not supported and given the skills to move on from domestic violence .
What happens when a child is taken into care ? Well very often they are allowed contact with their parents which after a while is reduced based on the child displaying behaviour problems after a contact session.
From the childs point of view he/she will have suffered significant loss by being removed from their parents, extended family, school etc
Is it not understandable that when they see their family they are bound to feel upset, confused , maybe they want to return , feel their family don't care else why are they made to live with strangers ?
Contact sessions are awful for the children as very often parents are not allowed to say they love and miss their children and want them to come home as they are told it will disrupt the childs placement so therefore it is understandable the child may feel rejected , hurt , angry and confused.
Then when contact is reduced even further what happens then to that child emotionally ?
Does that child not grow up in the care system with unresolved grief at the loss of his birth family ?
The loss of a child or parent through the care system is like a bereavement and if you see the different stages of bereavement is it any wonder that child after contact will show some behaviour difficulties ?
Is it right for that child to decrease contact and make matters possibly worse ?
| 1 - Denial | Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, reality, etc., relating to the situation concerned. It's a defence mechanism and perfectly natural. Some people can become locked in this stage when dealing with a traumatic change that can be ignored. Death of course is not particularly easy to avoid or evade indefinitely. |
2 - Anger | Anger can manifest in different ways. People dealing with emotional upset can be angry with themselves, and/or with others, especially those close to them. Knowing this helps keep detached and non-judgemental when experiencing the anger of someone who is very upset. |
3 - Bargaining | Traditionally the bargaining stage for people facing death can involve attempting to bargain with whatever God the person believes in. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?.." when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death. |
4 - Depression | Also referred to as preparatory grieving. In a way it's the dress rehearsal or the practice run for the 'aftermath' although this stage means different things depending on whom it involves. It's a sort of acceptance with emotional attachment. It's natural to feel sadness and regret, fear, uncertainty, etc. It shows that the person has at least begun to accept the reality. |
| 5 - Acceptance |
Where i believe the government are missing the point that early prevention has to be the answer and i don't mean early prevention with families I mean with society as a whole. Starting in school.
Make parenting classes compulsory under the national curriculum. I believe it is far more important than religious education as the probability is there are likely to be far more children who end up as parents in society than following any religious persuasion.
In the same module of learning could be assertiveness, first aid, budgeting etc etc all life skills
and far more useful than some of the subjects taught.
What also is a worry for me is how foster carers are recruited a leaflet came through my door the other day advertising for foster carers stating they pay was £415 per week in big bold letters and that only £155 of that was the child's allowance.
This can attract the wrong sort of people that will be driven more by profit than the child's needs.Why are foster carers not being used to also learn good parenting skills to the parents of the child they foster towards reunification?
Another observation is that i believe there is a syndrome associated with the trauma of going through family court that hasn't been invented yet. Instead parents are being diagnosed with conditions they did not have prior to procedures the one that seems most fashionable at the moment is some sort of 'personality disorder '. There seems to be no common sense approach that the feelings and symptoms presented by the parent may be as a result of the circumstances they have found themselves in through the whole family court process .
Social workers also have too much power and their work is not scrutinised enough and they are too protected . The supreme court has ruled that expert witnesses are no longer immune from prosecution in these procedures i believe that should be extended to apply to social workers too.
'the childs best interests ' This is a term referred to in every family court procedure but i have observed that this can sometimes be used as a smokescreen to hide behind for example if a local authority has not got the resources for contact they will say contact is not in the child's best interests, a malicious worker who has taken a dislike to the parent will use it as a way to cause distress to the parent and it is commonly used to withhold information under the data protection act or to apply for injunctions gagging the parents when an injustice has taken place.
I will keep adding to this post when I have more time . I know this paints a rather critical view but these are my observations only and I welcome others input.
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